robocall romeo

What fore art thou, robocall?

Robocall, robocall, what fore art thou, robocall?

Deny thy caller and refuse thy name;

Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn in clarity,

And I’ll no longer be a skeptic.

‘Tis but thy message that is perturbing;

Thou art thyself, though not a live person

What’s a robocall? It is nor live, nor legit,

Nor honest, nor amusing, nor any good use of time

Belonging to a human. O, be some other caller!

What’s in a robocall? That which we call a scam

By any other name would taste as sour;

So robocall would, were it not robocall named,

Retain that negative reputation which it deserves

Without that title. Robocall, doff thy call,

And for that caller, which desires no part of thee,

Remove thyself.

You’ve rewatched Leonardo DiCaprio’s Romeo + Juliet ONE TIME and now you’re living and breathing prose. For those seeking layman’s terms, let’s break it down, 21st century style.

A robocall is not a real person
A robocall is a pre-recorded message
A robocall uses an auto-dialer to call numbers
A robocall can be used for:

  • Telemarketing
  • Political campaigns
  • Charities
  • Emergency Announcements
  • Scams
    • You just won a free cruise!
    • You owe money to the IRS!
    • Your loan has been approved for refinancing!
    • Exclamation points so you know it’s bad!

That’s it in a nutshell. Know this, if you owe money to the IRS, they are not going to leave you an automated voicemail. If you think you won a free cruise, you didn’t. If you believe you can refinance your loan, call your bank directly; not the number left in your voicemail. Now….

Go hence, to warn others of these callers;

None shall be pardon’d, and few punished:

For never was a story of more woe

Than this of your phone and the calling robo.


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